Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Im halfway though my diet (possibly more) and my decision whether IM going to do the show or not just kinda came to me like a epiphany. Right now my decision is....
im not going to do it. (my mind changes every week but I think this is it lol)
This would of been a good thing to signify like hey I lost weight, look at me, but why should I do that, I feel great that I saw abs, and I have them and on top of that, when its time for me to bulk up, I'll be in a lot better shape, I don't have to worry about getting big like I was for awhile, now. (I mean fat)
Like I don't know I just had a straight epiphany about me not wanting to do it.
This isn't something I have the passion or desire to do. I never really did, I think my original reason for wanting to do it was the thrill or spirit of competition that I have. For some reason this just isn't it. Its not the Diet or the training that I do, because im still dieting until the end of the month and I train everyday anyway.
My ultimate goal isn't to be representing brands, or being on muscle mags, im not looking to be recognized,
although it would be nice to have that Jared from Subway story, maybe get a little money, but this certainly isn't the way to do it if I want it. (which I honestly did his diet when i was younger and lost 30lbs)
I want the people that care about (family friends)
Maybe some random people to recognize that I put in extremely hard work to change myself and my lifestyle,
and if i can do it anyone can do it, give hope to everyone obese or want to lose that little bit of weight that life can change for them.
(Ha it sounds like I should do the show the way im talking. )
But in retrospect its not like all the people I want to see my change will be there you know. and that was my fuel to even work out and look better.
This for my Mom and dad who fattened me up in the first place lol, to show them my change,.
(which they see everyday)
This was for my brother who use to call me fat boy, but still loved me, now admires me.
This was for Mack and Spiro (yes throwback) who I always looked up to when I was a kid because i wanted to be skinny and in shape like them, plus they always accepted fat tony and defended me and stood by me no matter what.
This was for all the jokes I got when I was younger (which I positively spun around)
This wasn't for any ladies (surprisingly) but its nice to look better.
This was for the rest of my family who never cared that I was big, but i want to show them i changed.
This was also for the people who encouraged me, maybe hated the way i was doing the diet or had to be put on hold because of it, but understood completely and still cheered me on.
and outta like the 15 people mentioned only maybe 4 of them will be at that show...
Maybe i should do it maybe I shouldn't, but fact of the matter is I didnt do it for recognition among people I could care less about. or judges
Hell i take my own pictures now, i dont need a professional taking pictures of me and like 6 other people from like 30 feet away.
Thats why Im still going to diet at least until the beginning of November (5 more weeks) and if I feel like I still want to do it, and I come across the extra money then so be it,(money is another big issue because it would cost me close to 200-300 bucks) but if not then screw it i know its not my goal,
lol my goal is to walk in Walmart with no shirt on. until someone tells me to put one on lmao (i swear on everything im going to do it)
My goal was to get ABs, lol got them
My goal was to lose body fat so when I want to get bigger, it won't be sloppy.
One of my goals is to do marathons (or more like 5ks and 10k's then work myself up) now thats something I always wanted to do and I'll put my heart into.
But body building wasnt one of them, I have the body I want and that was my goal, there is still some areas I need to approve on but I got my whole life to do it..
If its in the future for me to do it, like next year or something then I'll be ready!
THE END LOL sorry it was so long..
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Now being on Week 8 of the no carb diet, Im starting to feel it, the cheat means don't carry me through the whole week anymore, they carry me til about Tuesday, Wednesday if I'm lucky.
By Thursday and Friday I'm completely done, It pains me to just move.
I feel like whatever energy, ki, blood, aura, whatever it is that keeps me afloat is gone.
Thank God I have the type of job where I'm sitting down and not doing alot of moving. (or that could be the bad thing?)
I have 8 more weeks til that show, (if I do it, which I may not)
But Like I have said in other post, I will continue to do this diet, at the very least until my birthday week (October 26th) But I will more than likely continue up until the day I am suppose to compete (November 20th) which is an extra 4 weeks on top of it, (which would still be 12 weeks of no carbing, which is normal for most competitors)
I dont mind dieting until then because I have a great excuse to just abuse Thanksgiving. although i thnk regardless for about 4 days im eating what I want when i want anyway. then going back to clean eating. I'll keep yall posted.
slowly slowly starting to see the difference.
But im also starting to feel the strain from doing no carbs.
Abs are starting to show without flexing, muscles are getting tired, and that extra fat is starting to go away.
It will probably take a little more. Well signing out.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
DAMN I FEEL GREAT!!!
I'm losing the weight im suppose to..
Got compliment by not only my Trainer, but the expert trainer.
im still debating doing the show or not..
not because i dont want to, but because It will be a lot of money
60 bucks here
75 bucks there
im going through money woes as is..
the last thing i need is to Spend even more for 1 day!
especially since ive been doing extremely well saving.
but its also 2 months away so maybe if i just count my pennies and put a little to the side..
We'll see I just love the fact im losing weight and getting tone period.
So with or without the show im a Winner!!!